Monday, January 5, 2009

How do I let go?

I am in the process of cleaning out my Mom's house, as it appears this sale is actually going through. My husband says I cannot bring anything else to our house!!!

However, I'm having trouble letting go of things that generate memories of my parents lives and our childhoods.

Dishes, I do not need anymore dishes, but I have boxed up Mom's wedding china, the clear glass party plates she so adored, her iron skillets that produced such fabulous cornbread. I cannot and will not let someone else take these items from me. I can remember all of the wonderful Thanksgivings and Christmas dinner that we served on her china, all the times we used and loaned out the clear party plates, and the iron skillet produced wonderful cornbread on almost a daily basis. I am not capable of making her cornbread, there was no recipe, she just made it. Hopefully, the iron skillet will magically produce it for me.

Then there is her fur coat. I know fur is not politically correct, but in her eyes, having a mink coat was one of the best things that ever happened to her. I cannot wear it, neither can my daughter, but I guess I will keep it and when I'm missing her, wrap myself around it.

She apparently saved every card that her children and grandchildren gave her for the past 20 years. Throwing them away seem so callous. They meant so much to her, shouldn't they mean the same to us?

Somehow having these things will comfort me. But I think my daughter summed things up, pretty well.

She said, "Mom, when you take all of this stuff to our house, I'll just have to go through it in 30 or 40 years". She's right, she will, but I hope she has as much trouble letting go as I'm having. It means you had a wonderful, loving family, and you're full of love because of these memories.

Sorry, Lindsay!



Kathleen said...

I feel your pain!

My 2 sisters and I went through this several years ago..

DH had the same instructions, which I disobeyed..

I kept 3 of her chairs and several mirrors as well as any other things I could possibly find a place for..

And now 2 of my nieces, as well as my son, have found places in their home for some of Nana's beautiful things..

So, keep what you can..(we did let the mink coat go!) Down the road your own dau may want somethings of her Nana's..

And you can always get rid of it later...there are some things I regret getting rid of, now!
Happy New Year...

Southampton, NY

RonGav said...

When I lost my Mom, a received a card that simply said, "Mom's are hard to lose.". i'll always remember that simple painful truth.

i respect and totally understand your desire to keep some of the items that tied your memories to your Mom and your life together.

And as for the mink coat.. FORGET THE POLITICAL Crap! If it's a cold night, for goodness sake wear it in her memory. After all she LOVED it. Wouldn't she love having you or your daughter wear it (unless it doesn;t fit). Whatever the case remember her and her "stuff" with love... It's all a part of the of the process.

Be well.

Miss Janice said...

Oh my goodness, bless your heart! I can't imagine. My brother and I moved my mama out of the house she lived in for 60 years about 2 years ago and that was sad! We kept saying how it was better to move her while she was alive! But still...On a lighter note--I love the blog look!

Melinda said...

Ya'll are so sweet. Thank you so much for your sweet support.